When it comes to MONEY, you have UNRESOLVED TRAUMA
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How this UNRESOLVED TRAUMA shows itself in your MONEY and life
Your relationship with money is deeply influenced by difficult or painful experiences from your past. When making financial decisions, you might notice intense emotional reactions that seem disproportionate to the current situation - perhaps sudden anxiety, shame, anger, or even a feeling of numbness or disconnection.
These emotional responses often trace back to specific money-related experiences. Perhaps you grew up in a household where there was financial instability, witnessed arguments about money, experienced a significant financial loss, or went through periods of economic hardship. These experiences have left their mark on how you interact with money today.
You might notice certain financial triggers that cause strong reactions. For some people, checking account balances brings on anxiety; for others, making large purchases creates overwhelming guilt regardless of affordability. You might find yourself avoiding financial discussions or activities altogether because of the uncomfortable emotions they stir up.
This pattern can manifest as seemingly contradictory behaviors - perhaps being extremely frugal in some areas while spending impulsively in others, or alternating between hypervigilance about finances and periods of complete avoidance. You might also notice that your financial decisions sometimes feel driven by an inner voice that sounds like a parent or authority figure from your past rather than your adult self.
While these responses made sense as protective mechanisms during difficult times, they may now be limiting your financial wellbeing and preventing you from making decisions based on your current reality rather than past fears.
5-10 Years in the Future: What Happens If You Don't Change
If these unresolved financial trauma patterns continue unaddressed, their impact on your life will likely intensify over the next decade. The emotional toll of being regularly triggered by routine financial activities can lead to chronic stress, which affects not only your mental health but potentially your physical wellbeing and relationships as well.
Your financial decision-making will continue to be guided more by emotional protection than strategic planning. This reactive approach might lead to missed opportunities, inconsistent progress, and decisions that provide short-term emotional relief but don't serve your long-term interests. You might find yourself routinely avoiding beneficial financial steps simply because they trigger uncomfortable feelings.
The gap between your financial potential and your reality might widen as these patterns become more entrenched. For example, if checking investment accounts triggers anxiety, you might rarely review or adjust your investments, potentially leading to years of suboptimal returns. If asking for fair compensation feels threatening due to past experiences, a decade of underearning could significantly impact your long-term security.
Perhaps most significantly, these unresolved patterns tend to affect close relationships. Partners, children, or other family members might become confused or frustrated by financial behaviors that seem irrational to them but make emotional sense to you. Without understanding the underlying trauma responses, these tensions can lead to ongoing conflicts or communication breakdown around money matters.
There's also the risk that these protective but limiting financial patterns might be passed down to the next generation. Children often absorb money attitudes not through what they're told but through what they observe. Without healing these patterns, you might unintentionally transmit similar financial trauma responses to loved ones, perpetuating the cycle.
The cumulative effect of these patterns over a decade can be significant - not just in terms of financial opportunity costs, but in the persistent emotional burden of carrying unresolved trauma into each money interaction. The good news is that these patterns, once recognized, can be healed.
5 Ways to Overcoming Your UNRESOLVED FINANCIAL TRAUMA
1. Identify your specific money triggers and their origins Start by becoming aware of exactly which financial situations cause strong emotional reactions. Notice when you feel sudden anxiety, shame, avoidance, or other intense emotions around money. Keep a simple journal noting: "What was the financial situation?" "What emotions came up?" and "How intense was the feeling (1-10)?"
Once you've identified patterns, gently explore possible connections to past experiences. When did you first remember feeling this way about money? Were there specific incidents in childhood or adulthood that created these associations? Understanding these connections isn't about blaming anyone but about recognizing how past experiences shaped your current reactions.
This awareness itself is powerful. When you can say, "I'm feeling intense anxiety about spending money on myself because it reminds me of when my family struggled financially," you create space between the trigger and your response. This pause allows you to respond to today's reality rather than yesterday's circumstances.
2. Practice financial grounding techniques When money triggers activate old trauma responses, your nervous system needs help returning to a balanced state. Develop simple grounding techniques you can use when financial activities bring up strong emotions.
Try this three-step approach: First, notice and name what's happening ("I'm feeling panicky about checking my account balance"). Second, take three deep breaths, focusing on the feeling of your feet on the floor. Third, remind yourself of your present circumstances with a statement like, "That was then, this is now. Today, I have resources and support that I didn't have before."
Other helpful grounding techniques include placing a hand on your heart while breathing deeply, holding a small object that represents security to you, or simply stepping outside for fresh air before returning to the financial task. With practice, these techniques help your body and mind learn that financial activities in the present don't carry the same threats they may have in the past.
3. Create new, positive financial experiences Trauma patterns persist partly because we avoid the situations that trigger difficult emotions, which prevents us from having new, more positive experiences that could update our associations. Deliberately creating small, manageable positive experiences around money can gradually shift these patterns.
Start with tiny steps that feel only slightly uncomfortable. If checking account balances triggers anxiety, begin by checking the balance of a small, separate account that doesn't carry emotional weight. Gradually work up to your main accounts. Pair this activity with something pleasant - perhaps having a favorite drink or sitting in a comfortable spot - to create new, more positive associations.
Consider creating small "money rituals" that feel supportive rather than threatening. This might be setting aside ten minutes each week in a peaceful environment to review your finances, perhaps with soothing music or after a short meditation. These positive experiences gradually teach your nervous system that money interactions can be safe and even nurturing.
Remember to acknowledge and celebrate each step, no matter how small. These new experiences are like planting seeds that will grow with time and attention, gradually replacing old trauma patterns with healthier associations.
4. Separate past financial identity from present reality Many financial trauma responses come from confusing past circumstances with current reality. Create clear distinctions between "then" and "now" to help your mind update its understanding of your financial situation.
Try creating a concrete visual representation of this distinction. Write down key aspects of your financial situation during the traumatic period (perhaps your income, resources, support system, knowledge level) and your current circumstances in those same categories. Seeing these differences on paper can help reinforce that you're no longer in the same vulnerable position.
Practice compassionate self-talk that acknowledges both past experiences and present capabilities: "It makes sense that I feel scared about investment decisions given my family's financial struggles. AND I now have resources, information, and support that weren't available then." This "both/and" perspective honors your experience while reinforcing that you've developed new strengths and circumstances.
When making financial decisions, consciously ask yourself: "Am I responding to my current reality or to past fears?" This simple question can help separate past-based reactions from present-based responses, allowing you to make choices aligned with your current life rather than past trauma.
5. Consider seeking support for deeper healing While self-help approaches can be very effective for managing financial trauma responses, sometimes deeper patterns benefit from additional support. Consider whether working with a financial therapist, coach, or counselor might help you process and release more deeply-held patterns.
If formal therapy isn't accessible, look for community resources like financial support groups, workshops, or even books specifically addressing financial trauma. Many people find it powerfully healing to discover they're not alone in their experiences and to learn how others have navigated similar challenges.
Remember that seeking support isn't a sign of weakness but of courage and self-care. Just as you'd seek professional help for a physical injury that wasn't healing on its own, reaching out for support with financial trauma is a wise investment in your wellbeing.
In the meantime, practice self-compassion for the ways these trauma responses have affected your financial life. Rather than blaming yourself for past decisions made from a place of protection, acknowledge that you did the best you could with the tools you had at the time. This compassionate perspective creates space for growth and healing moving forward.
Your Next Step
Book a Free 15-Minute Intro Psychic Call to discover how your inner patterns might be influencing your relationship with money and how to align with your true abundance potential.
